Posts tagged belief systems

Letting Go

SHE LET GO…

As we say adios to 2011, reflecting on what is past, envisioning what lies ahead, and cultivating Presence and gratitude in the Now, this beautiful poem (below) was sent to me by Michael Sudheer (check out his website for fabulous photos of San Miguel de Allende). I share with you these profound words and my wishes for your experience in 2012 to be that of abundant health, joy, love; and that you inhabit your dreams!

 

 

She Let Go
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear.
She let go of judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She  didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.  There was no struggle.  It wasn’t good.  It wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go…
There’s only one guru ~ you.

Dr. Ernest Holmes
Founder, Science of Mind

Transitioning To A New Story Of Connection

Charles Eisenstein, author of "Ascent of Humanity", spoke to Journey Santa Fe group this morning

Depression. Anxiety. Despair. We are familiar with the morass of emotions regarding old systems and beliefs that separated us and no longer work, and new creative ideas and ways that connect us but are not yet fully developed.  We know things must change, but it’s often difficult to imagine ‘how’ when it seems the “powers-that-be” are so entrenched and destructive.

This morning, I was feeling pretty sad, thinking of the Japanese nuclear meltdown and the U.S. obsession with war. Just yesterday, as one small example, 165 Trident missiles were shot into Libya at $1.5 million each, or $250 million dollars (just a tip of the iceberg of the day’s military expenditures). How can we reconcile this recklessness and dollar expense with the death and destruction of Libyan lives and the fact that every aspect of our society needs rebuilding? We can’t. It doesn’t make any sense… except if we see it as the old story that is passing away.

“When something is almost finished, it takes on an extremely grotesque appearance. We are in the death throes of the civilization we’re living in. As institutions and systems crumble, we are in a world in transition,” says Charles Eisenstein, author of “Ascent of Humanity”, about the history and future of civilization from a unique perspective: the evolution of the human sense of self.

This morning, I had the pleasure of hearing Eisenstein speak, sponsored by Journey Santa Fe at Santa Fe’s Travel Bug store.

Eisenstein, 44, sees this time in history as one of great transformation. He is hopeful, but not idealistic; visionary, but not unrealistic. His message encourages us to see what is passing away and what is being born, recognizing we are in a liminal state; on the threshold of turning from systems of exploitation and separation to those of co-creation and mutual care.

Looking at what has been and no longer works, Eisenstein explained how the money game, based on interest-bearing debt, converts nature to goods and relationships to services, thereby creating scarcity, competition and mindless greed that has separated us from one another.

He talked of those so engrossed with the virtual world that “they do not see or care that earth, ecosystems and people are dying of neglect. We have seen our selves as separate, and even the story of self is ending too. We’re learning this painfully.”

The importance of stories
“We don’t believe in the old stories, but we don’t have the new stories yet,” said Eisenstein, holding out the vision that our new story contains and embeds a new story of the people, connected. He is sure that “We are here to love and co-create our relationship with earth.”

There are many examples of how things are changing and we are acknowledging the importance of our hearts. He cites “alternative medicine” and “holistic approaches” which many people in our society now seek. Another example is hospice. You can ask your logical mind, “What difference does it make to be with a dying person?” Our hearts know this is significant but our minds don’t understand. As we’ve all experienced, our mind argues with our heart. It is time, he contends to guide our choices in a different way.

So, how do we make this transition, to write and tell this new story of the people connected?  “This is evolutionary,” said Eisenstein. “We need to undo the ideology of separation, undo the old stories, listen to our heart and what it wants to say, “yes!” to.  We need to cultivate the connected self.”

The role of the Gift
His idea for cultivating the connected self, or community, is recognizing the role of the Gift.  Eisenstein explains, “In traditional money-based economy, if there’s more for you, there’s less for me. In the gift-based economy, if you have more than you need, you give it away. Ecology works like this. We know this but we don’t believe what we know.

“Most of us spend our lives doing things we don’t really believe in… for the money. I’m pretending to care because I’m paid to. You find yourself asking, ‘What about MY life?’  If your gifts are not totally expressed and received, you feel you’re not living your life.

“Our desire is to want to give and enact our purpose here. Community is woven from gifts and stories, and reliance on one another. In our society, money replaces the need to need or appreciate another – ‘I paid you!’  Gift creates a tie. I feel gratitude for the knowledge of having received, and give in return.

“Gift expands self. Greed becomes insane.  To give and receive is balance. To refuse gifts is stingy, selfish, rude. Give your gifts. Trust your desire to give, and the universe responds to it. Visualize to ready yourself to say ‘yes!’”

How do we infuse today’s world with properties of the Gift?
In a word: Appreciation. In my experience – as a human, a woman, a writer, a coach, someone for whom the human story is endlessly fascinating and human relationships of kindness and decency supremely important – I am in full agreement with Charles Eisenstein that changing the grotesque old story of separation and disconnection to a new one of love and connection begins with appreciation of one’s self and the world we each create moment-by-moment through our thoughts, words and deeds.

May we each hold the vision Eisenstein articulates of reunion, not separation. We know that old game and it’s not working. It’s time to wake up, listen to our hearts and share and receive our gifts. I welcome your thoughts below!

Eisenstein’s new book, “Sacred Economics” is due out July 2011.  To read more about all this and get connected, I recommend his blog, Reality Sandwich, “evolving consciousness, bite by bite, counteracting the doom-and-gloom of the daily news.”

How To Plan A Trip

The planning process, and the trip itself, should be fun and exhilarating, or why bother? (All photos on this site by Aysha Griffin, unless otherwise noted)

When planning a trip, do you: spending years pouring over guidebooks and reading relevant books and articles? Hire a travel agent or book a tour? Spend countless hours online researching? Or, simply taking off without a plan?  There is no right way.It’s a matter of what works for you, the destination, and available time and budget. But no matter how you plan (or don’t), the important  thing is to, finally, GO!

As an independent traveler, I like to think I am spontaneous and, for short vacations to a singular destination, I usually am – just book flight, lodging (and, sometimes, rental car or other transportation) and see what and who shows up. But when it comes to prolonged travel with numerous destinations and/or involving others, I do considerable research for best deals on flights, places to stay; gaining familiarity with places I hope to visit, and attempting to make local contacts beforehand. This is a time consuming process that I enjoy, enriching the anticipation as well as appreciation once I am under way.

Whether ponderous or spontaneous, I find a great trip requires planning enough for peace of mind and accomplishing some goals, while leaving lots of time and space for chance encounters and Serendipity to surprise and delight. Having been a traveler since my teens, when I first started hitchhiking across the U.S., I’ve developed a certain confidence and ease in the pleasure of the way I travel, alone or with others.  Since many of you are also travel aficionados, and a few have been kind enough to ask,”How do you do it?” I will chronicle my upcoming trip to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, slated for January 20-March 22, 2011.  READ MORE >>>>

Free Online Course to Lose Weight

A new year is upon us and, for many, that means resolutions to lose weight and get the body you want. I am here to encourage you in that!

You've created the body you currently inhabit and, if you want, you can create something new and more wonderful.

A good place to start is understanding and examining what has been keeping you from such goals. Hay House Publishing is offering a free 6-week online course called “What Have You Got To Lose?” Each lesson features one of their well-known authors, with holistic and sound approaches to body image and weight loss  – Marianne Williamson, Brad Lamm, Bill Phillips, Dr. Michael Snyder, Chris Downie, Jorge Cruise.

If you’ve been struggling with weight, it’s probably been going on for years, maybe most of your adult life. So, wouldn’t it be wonderful if by this time next year you have reached your ideal weight, have minimized health issues related to obesity, and feel fit, well and sexy? Imagine that. I mean, really envision your self looking, feeling and being all that it means to be fit and trim. Then start gently and lovingly to take charge of one of the few things in life only you can control — your body!

It isn’t about counting calories or joining a gym you’ll never go it, it’s about changing your thoughts and belief systems; it’s about self love. If I could do it, so can you! (Read my experience). The satisfaction and appreciation is enormous and empowering, and all who love you will support your changes. No matter how many times you may have “tried and failed,” please be fearless this time, and declare your intention to making 2011 The Year of Reclaiming the great body and health you deserve!

I welcome your comments below, and am available for coaching. If you decide to purchase any books or materials from Hay House, I’d appreciate if you’d come back to this site and click on the Hay House ad on the right column of each page – thanks!

Families and Holiday Strife – The Choice Is Yours!

Getting together with family over the holidays can be stressful. If you dread obligatory time with relatives – where there are deeply ingrained patterns, predictable dynamics, unpleasant behaviors and topics to be avoided – you know that it is like walking into a minefield of emotional distress.

How you choose to celebrate the holidays, and with whom, is totally your choice – embrace it!

So why would you do this to your self?

Think about it – here you are, an adult who has spent 20, 30, 40 years or more living away from the family that “raised you.” You spent maybe 18 years under the authority and care (however dubious) of these people whose company gives you little if any joy.

As time goes on, those few years under the same roof represent a diminishing percentage of your life and yet – no matter how much time and distance you’ve put between them and you, how much self-reliance, success and happiness you’ve created for yourself – they still have the power to bring you down to your most vulnerable, disempowered little-person self.

How is this possible?

Thoughts and beliefs: “She’s my mother, and I need to honor her!” (or father, sister, brother, etc.). “We’re family, and families stick together.” Does any label give someone the right to treat you with disrespect?  These are powerful forces, but should not be beyond examination if you seek honesty and freedom from destructive behaviors in your self (and others with whom you choose to spend your precious time).  What ideas/beliefs might you hold that keep you hooked in to an abusive dance with someone?

Perennial optimism: “Maybe this time will be different!” So you keep showing up, each time with a different strategy: “I’ll be happy and unshakeable;” “I won’t pay any attention to so-and-so;” “I won’t do/say anything to upset ___;” “I’ll speak my truth and they’ll respond kindly.” You keep trying and getting the same response…is this not Einstein’s definition of insanity? And, is this not textbook co-dependent/abuser behavior?

Maybe, what you want from him/her/them is NOT WITHIN THEIR POWER TO GIVE YOU! This is not because you are undeserving, but probably due to their own guilt, hardness of heart, narcissism, or simple lack of awareness of themselves and their effect on others, including you.

Expectations: Do you expect your dog or cat to speak English, a blind person to see or a deaf person to hear? No, of course not. And yet you continue to expect people who have been disrespectful, sabotaging or diminishing in words and deeds to somehow act differently… this time.

What are you seeking? I venture you are hoping for them to change, to see and acknowledge your value, to appreciate you. GIVE IT UP! No one changes because someone else wants him to. If they change at all, it is because it is in their best interest. As long as they can get away with treating you in ways that are “unacceptable,” they will. Obviously, if you keep showing up, their behavior is good enough to keep the game going, even though it makes you miserable. So the real questions are: Have you had enough misery yet? And, are you willing to give yourself what these others cannot?

Self Love is an inside job: We all need and want appreciation. And yet we must appreciate ourselves so that when others do appreciate us, we can receive it in truth. It’s a common problem among models and celebrities who, no matter how much others tell them they are beautiful, thin or talented, they don’t believe it because they do not know it IN THEM SELF to be true.

Where can you find Apreciation? In the honest valuing of your own heart, in the strength, courage, character you have funded, and in the connections you share with people who treat you with kindness and respect.

When will you stop the pain and abuse? Just as you would advise a woman being beaten by her husband to sever that relationship, you too have the obligation to your healthy self to stop spending time with people who abuse you. While your mother’s sarcasm, your sister’s anger, your father’s indifference may not be as blatant as a physical beating, they are still abuse…and it is up to you to just say “No.”

What will happen if you say “No”? Their “party” will go on without you. They may talk about you behind your back. Who cares? They do anyway! And you can choose to celebrate with human beings who enjoy your company, value your friendship and support your dreams. Or you could take your self off alone on a real vacation and appreciate your self for the courage, wisdom and self-love that only you, ultimately, can give you. No matter what, it’s your responsibility to be honest with yourself and choose how to create and enjoy happy holidays!

If you feel like sharing your experiences with family and holidays, please do by commenting below. If you’d like coaching around this, or other relationship issues, please don’t hesitate to contact me at inhabityourdreams@gmail.com

Minding My Own Business

Whose Business Are You In?

A friend invited me to a free “healing session” with a woman she had a private session with the day before. She warned me that this healer talked a lot and was not someone with whom she connected personally, but the transmission was powerful and she felt strongly I would benefit from it.

Indeed, the healer went on and on about herself, sang us a long and boring song (which she said was the “short version”) and finally got down to the energy shifting part of the evening. I was physically uncomfortable lying on the floor (not knowing we were supposed to bring a mat and blanket), but I tried to remain present and open to whatever I might receive. Read More >>>

Harness the Power of Positive Self-Talk

4 Tips to Help Harness the Power of Positive Self-Talk

By John BoePrint Article Print Article

RISMEDIA, September 27, 2010—In 1957, Earl Nightingale, speaker, author and co-founder of the Nightingale-Conant Corporation, recorded his classic motivational record “The Strangest Secret.” “The Strangest Secret” sold over one million copies and made history in the recording industry by being honored as the first Gold Record for the spoken word. Nightingale, known as the “Dean of Personal Development,” concluded that life’s “strangest secret” is that we become what we think about all day long.

Your belief system, like your computer, doesn’t judge or even question what you input; it merely accepts your thoughts as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Think thoughts of defeat or failure and you’re bound to feel discouraged. Continuous thoughts of worry, anxiety and fear are unhealthy and often manifest in the body as stress, panic attacks and depression.

At the core of Earl’s message, he reveals the incredible power of positive self-talk, belief and expectation. What you vividly imagine and hold in your subconscious mind begins to out picture as your reality. Your belief system not only defines your reality, but it also shapes your character and determines your potential.

The Placebo Effect
The ability of the mind to cure a disease even when the medicine is known to be worthless is known as the “placebo effect.” This occurs in medical trials where doctors give patients sugar pills, but tell them they will cure their illness. Often it does, even though the pills contain nothing of medical benefit. The only thing of value in these medical trials is the patient’s own belief that the sugar pills will cure them. It’s the power of the patient’s belief and expectation alone that produces the improvement in his or her health. I recently read a remarkable story about a group of cancer patients who thought they were being treated with chemotherapy, but were actually given a placebo. Before their treatment began, the patients were informed about the complications associated with undergoing chemotherapy treatment, such as fatigue and loss of hair. Amazingly, based on nothing more than their belief and expectation, nearly one-third of the patients who were given the placebo reported feeling fatigued and actually experienced hair loss.

The Power of Affirmation and Positive Self-Talk
If you had access to a powerful tool that would enhance your self-esteem and allow you to reach your full potential would you use it?

A good way to create positive self-talk is through affirmations. An affirmation is a positive statement that represents your desired condition or outcome. Interesting enough, your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined “mental” experience.

When he was a struggling young comedian, late at night Jim Carrey would drive into the hills overlooking Hollywood and yell at the top of his lungs “I will earn $10 million a year by 1995.” When 1995 finally arrived, Carrey was the star of the movie Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, for which he was paid $20 million. World-class athletes understand the value of affirmation and recognize the impact of their mental preparation on their physical performance. They use the power of positive affirmation to reduce anxiety and increase their expectation of achievement. To be of maximum benefit, an affirmation must be simple, encouraging and stated in the present tense. By repeating an affirmation over and over, it becomes embedded in the subconscious mind.

To be effective, your affirmation must be stated aloud:
1. In a positive manner with the focus on what you want. When you catch yourself saying or thinking something negative about yourself, counteract the negative self-talk with a positive affirmation. Start your affirmation with words like “I am…” or “I already have…” Example: “I close sales with little or no resistance.” “I take good care of my customers and they show their appreciation by referring their friends to me.”

2. In the present tense. Your subconscious mind works in the present tense, so avoid words such as can, will, should or could. Example: “I love doing my work and I am richly rewarded creatively and financially.”

3. With strong emotion and conviction.

4. Repeatedly. I suggest you read your affirmations each morning upon awakening and again each night just before falling asleep. Close your eyes and picture the end result. Feel the emotions associated with the affirmation.

Here are some of my favorite affirmations:
-”Every day in every way I’m getting better and better!”
-”Everything comes to me easily and effortlessly!”
-”I love and appreciate myself just as I am!”
-”I love doing my work and I am richly rewarded creatively and financially!”
-”I now have enough time, energy, wisdom and money to accomplish all my desires!”
-”Infinite riches are now freely flowing into my life!”
-”I am relaxed and centered!”
-”I feel happy and blissful!”

Do affirmations really work and can they be used to propel a person to achieve greatness?

As a young boy growing up in Louisville, Kentucky, 12-year-old Cassius Marcellus Clay dreamed of someday becoming the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. When working out in the gym, Clay would continuously affirm to all within earshot that he was indeed the greatest boxer of all time. While many felt he was brash and boastful, few people actually took this 89-pound youngster seriously. Mohammad Ali used his affirmation to become the undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world and arguably one of the most popular and recognized sports figures of all times.

Show me a salesperson with high self-esteem, a positive attitude and a healthy work ethic and I’ll be able to predict his or her success in advance…I guarantee it.

John Boe presents a wide variety of motivational and sales-oriented keynotes and seminar programs for sales meetings and conventions. Boe is a nationally recognized sales trainer and business motivational speaker with an impeccable track record in the meeting industry.

For more information, visit www.johnboe.com.