I was 47, looking in the leather-framed mirror in an elegant bathroom in the house my partner and I had designed and built just the year before.

I’d just gone through my first and only (thank the gods) bout with depression. For several months, on several days a week, I’d wake up trapped in a black hole. I felt I was falling backward into an elevator shaft. I was contentious and upset but could, on the “sane days,” step back and witness the insanity of what I was sowing, the struggle in everything I was doing. I’d wonder, “Who was that bitch who took over my body?” Finally, I got my hormones tested and the doctor said, “You’re out of progesterone.”

Progesterone is called “the feel good hormone.” Without it, you feel bad…really bad.  But restoring a balanced level was a fairly easy trick: 3 months of compounded natural replacements and I was me again…only with much more gratitude. “Oh Aysha, There you are!” I had come back to my senses, to my “normal,” positive and empowered self.

So here I was in this Pueblo-style mansion, in a very tangible dream I was “inhabiting,” and I seeing myself in the mirror. I was so happy to see me! I realized I would never again be younger than I was at that moment. I realized I was all I had to work with in this life…and that woman in the mirror was pretty darn cool.

In this same looking glass I could see the little girl I once was, full of wonder, innocence, anticipation and idealism; the woman I am now, curious in a more specific way, recognizing the value of time and energy; and I could see too the old woman I may someday be, feeling very fulfilled and amused at the twists and turns of the countless stories of this life.

At that moment I knew without a doubt that I loved myself with an abiding appreciation I never had before. How could I do otherwise?

Have you had a similar epiphany? Are you fully appreciating you or still standing in judgment of yourself? Are you fearful or hopeful of the future? We are on this road together. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to enter a comment below and join the conversation.