Simone Griffling
(December 21, 2003 – February 23, 2013)
On New Year’s eve, 2003, I asked a group gathered at our Santa Fe, NM home, “What would you like in the new year?” David answered, “A dog.” Little did he know he was soon to have not just “a dog,” but the most extradordinary Standard Poodle, who touched the lives of all who encountered her and left us heartbroken in her passing.
The choice of a Standard Poodle was the result of high praise for the breed from our close friend, Anne Clark, who had grown up with Standards, and the fact that the one thing we did not miss, from our previous Lab/Dalmation mix, was shedding. “But I hate they way they look!” said David. “It’s just a haircut, honey,” I reassured. And thus began our search.
Choosing The One For Us
Standard Poodles are expensive to purchase from breeders, upwards of $1,200. Since the two prior dogs in my life were essentially free mixed-breeds, I did not understand the value of using a breeder. Knowing what I know now, I would highly recommend buying from a reputable breeder, and also immediately getting health insurance for a pure-bred. But, in February 2004, after much online perusing, we saw an ad on Santa Fe CraigsList for Standard Poodle puppies for $250 each, and drove south to the town to Madrid, NM, where a woman had eight 7-week-old black puppies in her trailer. [See Movie Below]
Only two were female, which we knew we preferred, and so it was a matter of deciding which one. As our Lab – who lived a healthy life until age 14 – had developed a terrible fear of loud noises, and often shivered in the bathtub hiding from thunder or the vacuum cleaner, we wanted a dog that wasn’t a “scaredy dog.” David took a coffeecan with a few rocks inside and shook it at the two female puppies. One ran away, and the other approached full of curiosity. We knew she was the dog for us.
Simone’s Love Affair With Teddy
We drove home with this tiny black fluffy poodle in my lap, her little pink tongue licking my face, and interested in smelling and seeing everything. The next day I went to the Goodwill to buy her some toys and returned with a bag of stuffed animals (careful to ensure they did not have parts easily dismantled or swallowable). Among them was a light-brown teddy bear, twice her size. Many other toys came and went over the years, often enthusiastic favorites for a while. But none endured her affections like “Teddy”, which became her life-long prized posession and friend. 
She hauled Teddy around the house, greeted visitors with him, and at least twice a day, for every day of her life, retrieved him from wherever she had last left him, carried him into the living room, laid down in front of him, and hugged his neck, gently moving her paws and entering what seemed to be a meditative state, her mouth always gently squeezing the right side of his face. She would stay like this for at least 15 minutes at a time. [See Movie Below]
Perfect Paws
Simone’s first veterinary check-up and shots, at a small one-vet office, went well; the vet commenting that she was very healthy and had “perfect paws”. At six months she was neutered by the same vet and all was fine. About a year later and full-grown to some 60 pounds (large for a female standard), she suddenly, one Sunday, became very ill. She stopped drinking water or eating, and was overcome with lethargy. Of course, pet emergencies usually occur on weekends, and our vet was out of town. By the wee hours of the morning, with her obviously in great distress, David and I drove Simone to the emergency vet hospital. The doctor there said it looked like kidney failure and nothing that could be done. We refused to believe it and, as another veterinary hospital nearby opened at 7am, we waited and took her there for second opinion.
Addison’s Disease
A young vet at Smith Veterinary, Andrea Trujillo, DVM, suggested we leave her for testing, and later called with news that Simone did not have kidney failure but, rather, Addison’s Disease, a failure of the adrenal glands that could be managed with shots and medicines. Indeed, we knew it would shortened her lifespan but we were already so emotionally invested in our relationship with this ever-happy, unconditionally loving, and remarkably smart being, that we could consider nothing other than keeping her alive.
Simone seemed to know that we had saved her life and, unlike most pets, she loved going to the vet. She’d junp on a banco and claim her space, calmly awaiting her turn to be seen, usually by Vianey DeAguero, DVM – for whom we are grateful for her years of kind and diligent care of Simone! 
Over the years and many thousands of dollars in vet visits and medications, we sometimes struggled with health incidents – Simone would go into crisis, meds had to be adjusted, diet changed. Several times she was at death’s doorstep and we grieved, and then she would rebound and we’d have another period of time – years or months – of good health. Perhaps because of the precariousness of her wellbeing, every day with her was never taken for granted.
Travels With Simone
From her first few months with us, until months before her death at age 9, she was a constant companion. Always up for a ride in the car – whether to the grocery story or many a road trip to Colorado. Based on our preparations, she always knew and anticipated where we were heading, with recognition as we neared the destination, and hung her head out the window, taking in all the smells and passing vistas. People walking, or in passing cars, would often point and smile at her, and she smiled back, sharing her sheer pleasure in being alive. It was a good thing to be Simone.
Shenanigans
Because all the interior door knobs in our house were lever handles, Simone quickly discovered she could open any door by jumping on the handle. When we were gone – perhaps to express her discontent at being left home, but more likely to entertain herself – she had fun getting into the powder room and pulling on the roll of toilet paper, TPing the house as far as she could before the paper ran out. She learned she could break into the pantry and treat herself to whatever the humans had hidden there. Remnants of a bag of popcorn, tell-tale signs of wrappers, gave her away, and we were always amused by her ingenuity. Once, she carried a large cardboard box of dog biscuits into the living room, which we found sitting upright with only a few biscuits eaten; clearly not a favorite treat, and she wanted us to know that.
The kitchen center island, higher and twice the depth of a normal counter, was also not safe from her wiley tricks and indefatigable spirit in rising to a challenge. When friends, Lonnie and Doug Rankin, housesat for us, they reported that Simone had devoured some blueberry muffins they were sure had been placed beyond her reached, and a theme song was born: “Do You Know The Muffin Dog?”
Chicken, Chicken, Chicken
Not being red-meat eaters ourselves, poor Simone endured a diet rich in chicken… so rich, in fact, that she sometimes refused to drink water or eat dry food if it did have some chicken content. From broth to stir-fried to barbecued, she never tired of chicken.
My Philosophy on Raising A Great Dog
Like raising a gentle, alert child, raising a puppy into a great dog requires lots of time, attention and care. I carried Simone a lot, until she was too heavy (about 40 pounds), and had her sit in my lap whenever I was on the couch or lounge chair. David finally asked, “What’s that black growth on your lap?” But he did it too. And we included her in every activity we could. She watched intently as David laid a Pergo floor, and helped by placing her paws and weight on each row to push the boards into place. She was fascinated by his juggling, and wanted to know and figure out whatever we were doing. When we danced, she jumped up to get in on the action and the three of us shuffled to the music.
I once read that if your dog has “accidents” in the house, you should roll up a newspaper… and whack your self! Simone was housebroken immediately, at 7 weeks, and the few accidents she had were indeed our fault, from not paying attention to her standing by the door waiting for us to realize she needed to go outside. We never raised a hand to her and it showed in her confidence and ease. She rarely barked, but had a surprisingly huge bark when someone came to the door… and once realizing they were friends, ran and found Teddy with which to greet them.
If a dog feels secure and knows she is a cherished part of your family, she will want to please you. And Simone did a thousand things to please us.
Emotional I.Q.
It is commonly known that “Standard Poodles are very intelligent.” We did not know what that meant until our years with Simone. Although I cannot say how many English words she had in her vocabulary, her sensitivity to our actions and emotions was extraordinary. For example, when I began to set the dining room table, which we used primarily with guests, she would stand by the window for hours anticipating someone’s arrival. When either of her humans was upset, or physically ill, she would stay by our side – even opening doors to do so – and nestle her curly head into our stomach, transmitting healing powers of love and devotion.
Her attention span was also unusual. You could not beat her in a stare-down, and for hours she would sit transfixed by something – like a visiting parrot in a cage, David juggling, or my sister Bonnie’s two cats who had never seen a dog and were terrified when we visited. At the end of two days of gentle wonderment, Simone had them almost nose-to-nose with her.
She was the quintessential diplomat – attracting both children and adults with her curly-haired beauty and standing still while they admired and petted her, and oohed and ahhed at her lamb-like softness.
The Most Difficult Thing
Unlike humans, who can articulate discomfort, our pets do not complain. Loving them, we do not want them to suffer, and we know it is within our power to stop their suffering and physical pain. But the decision to end that life – to remove from our own lives all the love and joy their presence has given us – is a daunting responsibility; one not entered into without our own pain of loss.
The “how” is not so difficult. It’s the “when” that is the most difficult thing!
Even though David and I had faced the prospect of Simone dying several times and grieved repeatedly, we were overwhelmed by emotions in knowing it was up to us to make a decision to end Simone’s life. Her health failed rapidly – difficulty walking and getting comfortable lying down, obvious pain in her hips, some trouble breathing. And yet her appetite remained healthy and she was able to go outside. But, finally, the day came – as we knew it would. And a final goodbye said.
There is no way around the grief that follows such loss. Like all grief, you have to go through it, and each of us is doing so in our own way and in our own time. The vast library of joyful memories and the feelings of unconditional love Simone leaves us with will be cherished the rest of our lives. And, maybe someday, there will be another Standard Poodle puppy in our lives to revitalize in a present moment that joy and love.
Meanwhile, we each mourn her passing, our loss. And if indeed there is a heaven, she will no doubt be there to greet us, waging furiously her beautiful long tail, with her deep-brown eyes alight in recognition of the humans who made her time on earth, as Simone, a wonderous one of absolute security, care and delight.
Watch Video of Simone With Teddy
Final Thoughts
For those who had the pleasure of encountering Simone, you know what a loss I’m describing. Perhaps you have your own attachment to a amazing dog, cat, horse, etc. But I do want to put this in perspective, to acknowledge that part of the agreement we make – when we take on a pet – is that it’s likely they will die before us. We agree to pay the price of the awesome responsibilities of love and connection, and the honor of letting them go when they are suffering.
Beloved pets teach us so much about our own humanness and capacities. And while I wish every animal were treated with kindness, I wish even more that every child – every human being – in the world would know the kind of love we shared with Simone; to have access to medical care and good nutrition, and the complete sense of acceptance and belonging. May we each do our best to make it so.
Thank you for reading this. Please feel free to leave your comments on the blog post. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Dear Aysha,
I am so sorry for the loss of our beautiful Simony. She will forever be in my heart as the little french girl; delicate yet playful, dignified yet fun, always looking so stylish with a touch of mystery in those dark eyes. Beautiful essay. Loving tribute. It was a pleasure to know and love her. Thanks for posting. Love to you, as always! I’ll call you later. Tried calling David last night but couldn’t get through.
Dearest Aysha and David,
Ahhhhh…. what a beautiful tribute you have given here to Simone. My heart broke wide open when I read this, knowing how much both of you loved her, and also feeling how much my own animal companion, Lucy — another wonderful dog — means to me and to my dear friend Gina, the other human who has been chosen by her.
I am grateful to have had my own experiences of Simone and her perfect paws and her Teddy. And grateful to you for writing this beautiful article and sharing photos and movies. May both your hearts continue to stay open to all the gifts of love from Simone. xoxox
aysha, aysha, i am so sad to read that simone is no more. i can picture her now, showing up for our walks, walking with us in the arroyo, drinking water at the end of the walk, so calm ,sweet gentle, so in love with you. your heart must be breaking now. thanks for writing this biography of your pet and friend. i am sure all your readers will savor the words, and mourn with you. may simone’s soul elevate quickly because, she, indeed, was an old, old soul.
Thank you. So much. What a tribute to Simone–and to you.
Elyn
We send all our love and condolences to you. Simone was so special…I’m happy we had the opportunity to meet her. There is now a black standard poodle puppy in the Donn Dimension…together with the stately white standard matriarch. We will never have any other breed in our family. Standards are simply the best dog in the world!
We would love to see you and hope you’ll let us know if you’ll be in CoSpgs. Our new phone #s: 719) 231-0100/ 719)271-4741
Sat with Milo in my lap as I read your beautiful tribute to Simone. Oh, how I feel for you and with you! Simone was one lucky dog to have you in her life!
So sweet, so beautiful, so soulful, so sad.
Dear Aysha,
I am so sad to hear about Simone’s passing. She was a stellar dog and I am glad I got to know her. You can tell from you wonderful tribute that she was well loved and cared for. I will try calling David later.
xo Liz
Dear Aysha and David…
I know. I’m so sad for you both. So glad you had the blessing of Simone for 9 years. And that you had the wisdom to know when the time had come, and that you gave her the gift of a graceful exit. My heart is with you both.
Sweet Aysha!
Larry and I send so much love to you at this time. We know, and are grateful for, your love and care for doggies. Although we never met Simone, our Zack has benefited as a substitute for your affection. What tenderness these friends bring to our human lives! If there are doggie angels, Simone will have a wide wingspan!
Dear Aysha and David,
Shawn and I just returned from a walk with our dogs (goldendoodles) and read your email. I have loved and lost tail wagging friends in the past. The loss is lonely and indeed heartbreaking but oh the joy of the love is just the best. Unconditional and exuberant! I will think of Simone today and remember her walk with us by your home. So full of energy, running the hills but always turning around looking for us to catch up. That is how I will remember her. Thank you for caring so fondly for her. Everyone who knew her received her joy.
…wow Aysha. Thats a lovely summary and reminisce of the wonderful Simone you’ve written. Thanks – its really filled in some of the blanks for me. As the 8 and 5 year old kids I live with here on the ‘farm’ – Cate and Carina, say to me with tears when creatures die – “it’s ok – they’re back inside of ‘the thinking of the universe’ “….phew for that, I say. Sending love to you and David!
With tears in my eyes, I write to thank you for finding, caring for, loving and sharing your precious Simone with me. As you know, Simone and I fell in love when we met. I will never forget the joy I felt when she curled up in the chair with me and even spent the night in my bed. She was an amazing being. You and David provided Simone with the best care imaginable.
Thank you for your carefully crafted, love-filled tribute that so appropriately honored her.
I’m so glad you videoed her with her Teddy!
I am so very saddened to hear Simone has crossed over. She was a TERRIFIC pup.
We had a black standard poodle when I was growing up, and I feel almost like I knew Simone even though I only met her once. It was lovely to read about her as an individual. You all provided each other with some happy times. It is a lovely tribute you have shared.
Blessings to you and David on your loss of beautiful Simone. I so enjoyed my time with her. Your words tell her the high lights of the wonderful life you sharred together, thank you. I loved the video. Simone is certainly your dog ANGEL. love, Karen
That was a beautiful tribute to Simone. Peter and I were so sorry to hear of her passing. She was an amazing dog. I can still remember her everytime we came to visit you. We know that you both will miss her so much. Love to you both, Sandy and Peter
Aysha and David,
We were so sad to hear of Simone’s passing. Your tribute to her was wonderful. I can see her now greeting us whenever we came to visit you. Our love to you both, Sandy and Peter
I miss her so much. I knew, the last time I saw her, it was really the last. She knew it too. After so many Illnesses and miraculous recoveries, she and I knew. Simone was/is love. She was/is only love. Two special people had to create the space for that love to manifest. Gratitude to both of you. The relationship with her continues for all of us.
I am enormously heartened and grateful for the thoughtful responses each of you shared. As Simon Carroll’s girls say, “[Simone] is back inside the thinking of the universe,” and so it is. While the price of love is responsibility and, inevitably, loss, it is a small price to pay for what gives us an abundance of meaning and joy on our journey. Many blessings on you and all you love!
This is the loveliest tribute I can imagine — to a pet or a person. Truly beautiful. Everything you say about your wonderful Simone we can apply to our beloved Chaco who is the greatest gift of our later years here in Santa Fe. We simply cannot imagine our lives without him. Please feel free to visit us and Chaco anytime — if it would not be too sad for you — I believe we are your neighbors on Cerro Gordo??
Best wishes and sincerest condolences,
Marie Bass and Nathan Aronson
So sorry to hear about Simone. Your beautiful tribute tore apart my heart. Our own Ariel, who is 15, has been having close brushes with death and then rebounding for a year now. I know it’s a matter of days or weeks for her, and reading your words gave me much comfort. All the best to you, Aysha.
Marie and Nathan, Thank you so much for your very kind note and offer to visit with you and Chaco for a “poodle fix”. I live in San Miguel de Allende and know a number of Standards here with whom I cavort as often as possible, Poodles being my favorite “people.” I am happy to know of your joy, and wish you many more years of delight with your beloved boy!
Hello Aysha!
I am writing on behalf of the members, both human and canine, of The Santa Fe Poodle Connection. We are so sorry for your loss of lovely Simone. Because we are all owners of Standard Poodles we know the depth of this loss of dear Simone. Your touching eulogy reminds us all about what it means to love. May your sadness become transformed into the sweet memories you have shared.
Best
Leslie and Nancy and The Santa Fe Poodle Connection
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Hello Aysha!
I am writing on behalf of the members, both human and canine, of The Santa Fe Poodle Connection. We are so sorry for your loss of lovely Simone. Because we are all owners of Standard Poodles we know the depth of this loss of dear Simone. Your touching eulogy reminds us all about what it means to love. May your sadness become transformed into the sweet memories you have shared.
Best
Leslie and Nancy and The Santa Fe Poodle Connection
Dear Leslie and Nancy and all members of The Santa Fe Poodle Connection,
You all know the incredible gift of intelligence, sensitivity, and unconditional love we receive from our Standard Poodles. I hope you enjoy every moment you have with you beloved companions. I am reminded of a line from the movie, “Harold and Maude,” where the young Harold does not want to let go of the aged Maude who has carefully chosen her time to die: “But I love you!” he proclaims, to which she answers, “That’s nice, Harold. Now go and love some more.” And so it is we are charged by the passing of those we love to “go and love some more.” May it be so! Thank you all for your empathy.
i am so so so sorry to get this belated news about simone. sorry and sad. i loved her.